Blended Families

There ls a new term which has become paramount when discussing marriage and family counseling today and that is "blended families". While many therapist and Pastors attempt to treat remarriages and the new family structure which results with traditional counseling methods, the truth is that these new family structures are more complicated than first marriage families. Statistics tell us that some fifty percent of families today fall into the blended family category with some a result of divorce and others found in those who simply decided to forgo marriage and live together. Depending on who you read as many as 17% of all children under the age of eighteen live in these blended families. To get a better picture of these new families one needs to remember that the "traditional" family consisted basically of a husband, wife, children and in-laws. These new blended families consist primarily of a husband, wife, her children, his children, his ex-wife, her ex-husband, their in-laws, their ex-in-laws and other relatives who are now and once were part of their circle. This by inclusion means that their family structure is now influenced by twice as many as previously which will affect some basic beliefs and practices. The previous goal of counseling to help two people along with their children learn how to interact with one another as well as with other family members (in-laws) has mushroomed from a single nuclear family to a tribe. While there are those who propose that a tribe is better when it comes to raising children, (It Takes a Tribe movement), I can assure you the tribe can lead to further problems and confusion especially with young children. We now have old dads opinion, old moms opinion, new dads opinion, new moms opinions, old in-laws opinions, new in-laws opinions and often and unfortunately neglected children's opinions especially with new brothers and new sisters. I hope that by now you have caught the drift, blended families are much more complicated that traditional. Statistics bear this ought with while the divorce rate is 40-50% of first marriages, it moves to some 67% with second marriages, and then for those who think the third time is the charm, to 73% for third marriages. These tell us that marital counseling for second marriages and on is as important for second marriages as the first, yet few ever seek it believing they have learned their lesson with the first. Unfortunately that is not true as seldom do they understand all the issues involved in a blended marriage. Over the next few weeks I will be sharing some of the pitfalls found in blended families which keep them from being successful. I hope you will join me and let me know what you think, God Bless, Bro. Jeff Encounters In Joy Ministries.